This is my random and rushed attempt to gte out some thoughts I'm having on emotional abuse before sarah gets here.
When is the line drawn at emotional abuse? Every day in normal situations people use their knowledge of other people to get what they want, and this isn't always emotional abuse although it seems to be a definitive example.
Part of dealing with people is comprise and part of being satisfied while still comprising is making deals. For example: it is more important that I see my friends than I sleep, although I feel dead, because I never see my friends and they deserve some of my time. Number one: deal with self. Other deals? What movie do you go see? You compromise because it is more important that you are spending time with that person than you see a movie you like.
I don't think either of these are particualrly good illustrations but I'm very tired and no-one reads these things anyway.
So anyway, I am questioning whether I employ emotional abuse to get what I want. I'm the first to admit that I'm manipulative in certain situations, but I wouldn't describe myself as manipulative person.
I gave sarah her christmas pressie and she seems amused so I am pleased. Having intimate knowledge of the stock in a calender shop has its advantages [note: I have never been able to spell calander so back off spelling nazi's].
Anyway, everyone will make deals and sacrifices based on agreements and expectations. I see it as part of getting along in life, because you can't have your own way all the time. I know this because I have tried and of anyone was going tro suceed at having their own way all the time it would be me.
Is asking someone to do something knowing they will do it because they love you emotional abuse? If so, does this mean that we cannot ask people who love us for anything ever because they are influenced or persuaded by their love.
"Honey, I'd like to ask you if you want to have a threesome with me and my best friend, but I don't think its something I can ask of you because you will CLEARLY be making the decision because you love me."
[The question was Sarah's suggestion, although I also beleive this to be funny considering it is me and Sararh... "Hey - remember that time that you and I had sex with my boyfriend... Wow, that was the weirdest sentence I've ever said."]
Sararh says the calandar is "immensley her".
Still miss sam muchly. Still lying awake thinking about him. Still trying not to count the days and come terms with the concept that he actually really might not be coming back.